One Mom's view. 

"But where do I go from here? So many voices ringing in my ear... 

Which is the voice that I was meant to hear? How will I know? Where do I go from here?" (Pocahontas)

In the days like this, I would have had a cigarette & some wine. Those days are left far behind, leaving me with the keyboard as an only tool for such a dramatic mood...

My kid is choosing The College. 

Choosing the college would be one of the biggest decisions of his life, effecting his student times, choice of teachers and students, friends and lovers.

Deciding on the path, that he will be taking for years ahead, developing endless web of the new connections, relashionships, interests. Creating new life experiences, business opportunities, and piling financial loans.

After crazy season of SAT racing, college essays and application has ended, the new "college" season has began. Letters of acceptance were pouring all along, ranging through all the stages of "easy to get into school", mid range and dream schools. Once 'easy to get' and 'mid range' were in, the dream schools started to pop up in the mailbox.

At first, we were super proud of his success. Excited. Amazed how well he'd done. No shit, he worked his ass off and will need to work even harder ahead. But with dreams schools it was like a drums on the nerves. Every "dream school" letter weighted a ton. What answer does it have for us? Is it green to "go" or polite "sorry" red?

David got admitted into 10 Universities. Six of those schools are top 100 National universities. Ranging from California's UCs, State and Private schools all over the States with four different majors and various manors.  So many choices!  

And this is a new stress. What would be the final college of his choice? Where? How often would we see him now? As more letters we received, more we realized that this is IT. 

It's his last year to be with a family as a full-time child. My baby is leaving his comfortable parents nest.

This is IT. 

I was always ready to send him far. As I myself studied 2000 km away from Armenian homeland in the University at Moscow, I know that being far away from parents builds a stronger character, sence of independence, ability to become truly YOU. As my hubby call it, student form of Army. I was brave and happy for that step, supporting David's move, as I know it would be the best for him to be far away from us. 

But now, as his decision will be made soon: am I brave enough to sent him truly THAT far?  

I must admit: I am not. 

David decided to say good-bye to California. Leave this colorful, warm weather, incredible community of teachers, friends and potential girlfriends, all familiar surroundings, his comfort zone.

Go for a college where he can have all seasons, with cold and snow, choose the land, that is far far away...

And I'm honestly not ready for it. 

Its a turbulence times for me as a parent. I am experiencing a full coctail of emotions: mix of pride, joy, worry and sadness. 

So far, the last one wins.  
 

Lilia
PS: Please do not congratulate yet as he still did not finalize our college decision. I will let you know once we do.
 

 Bee-mine:               

David

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